Moose Animals
Animals, including people, have been found by DNA research to be descended from the same Opisthokont (A1) ancestor as the mushroom, so we're all a sort of very advanced fungus. See, that takes some of the stress off, now doesn't it?

All of us complex animals are actually organized communities of a vast number of single cell animals and bacteria, all with various degrees of specialization, independence and mobility - in fact only about 10% of our body's cells are based on human DNA. While they are not related, primitive slime molds (A2) show how this community may have begun, back in the mists of time.

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Key to the Animals

Plants & Animals apparently stem from a common ancestor, lost in the mists of time, probably going their separate ways well over a billion years ago. Animals and fungi went their separate ways later.

Here we present a chart of the edible animals. It follows their evolutionary descent but for simplicity I include only animal lines that are used by humans for food. Extinct lines are omitted (you can't eat those) as are intermediate evolutionary stages that aren't of culinary interest. All the first level entries were already in existence during the Cambrian era, about 530 million years ago. Very little is known about animal evolution in the Precambrian due to a very faint fossil record.

Who Eats What Animals?

Whether it's "right" (or healthy) to eat our fellow critters has been intensely debated for thousands of years with no resolution. Parrots have learned to talk (compose and speak meaningful sentences for their own purposes), less vocal animals have been shown to understand sentences. Ravens form clubs, use tools and can think out problems. Sociological studies show we're all pretty similar, so traditional notions of human exceptionalism and dominion over animals really don't wash.

On the other hand, it's been shown that all animals, including ourselves, live by eating other living things, and many live exclusively on other animals, and in some cases animals of intellectual achievement superior to their own - so it's been pointed out this is the natural order. An order in which we participate - until something eats us.

So it all boils down to a matter of personal viewpoint, or the strictures of your religion (which is also a personal viewpoint). I was a vegetarian for some time (though not a very "ethical" one), and not at other times, so I'll make no condemnation one way or the other.

  • North Americans are predominently Christians, a powerful subcult of the Pagans, and have no religious food prohibitions except for a few small sects that adhere more or less to Jewish law or promote vegetarianism. Most churches don't even forbid eating people (though it's rarely done).

    By secular law and/or custom, Americans are forbidden to eat dog, cat and horse. Just about everything else is fair game. These prohibitions have no logic but are the result of pressure by pet lovers. Pigs are probably smarter than dogs and cats and way smarter than horses, but are eaten in quantity by pet lovers because they're not cute and cuddly. The horsey set has even pressured government to forbid exporting horses to places that do eat horse, despite the fact that horses, in the wild, kill and eat smaller animals, and have killed and eaten people.

    Of course North America includes vegetarians of every possible stripe, including a strong contingent of "vegans" who won't eat any animal or use any animal derived products for anything. Egg and milk products are off their menu because they amount to "exploiting animals". Of course, they have no strictures against exploiting people.

    The U.S. is also host to many large and strong immigrant communities and Native American communities, so an occasional cat, dog or horse does end up in the stew pot - you just have to be a little careful about who knows. The U.S. also hosts large contingents of Jews, Muslims, Hindus and other religious persuasions that follow their own dietary rules.

  • Europeans are much like Americans but with some variations. The French, for instance, do eat horse, though it has declined in popularity, and I have it on good authority that the Germans ate plenty of cats during World War II (for cat, use any rabbit recipe, they taste the same).

    Europe, due to past conquest of distant countries and importation of labor in times of worker shortage (especially Muslim Turks in Germany and Indians and Pakistanis in England) also has plenty of religious contingents following their own rules.

  • Hindus come in many stripes. Many do eat meat, but most don't eat cow. Cow is clearly not forbidden by the sacred Vedas (which provide guidance on eating them), but from later political / religious prohibitions inspired by the Krishna cult, anti-Islam sentiment and economics (better return on investment from milk than meat).

    Pig is not prohibited to Hindus but is rarely eaten due to pure economics (not enough high quality grains to grow really edible pigs) and due to a suspicion of the animal possibly picked up from other cultures. Pigs are eaten in areas influenced by China and wild pigs were hunted in Kodava and Tamil Nadu.

    The main meat eaten by Hindus is goat, which British conquerors were pleased to call "mutton" so it would taste better. In areas of India influenced by Islam (north), lamb predominates for both Muslims and Hindus.

    Hindus who eat meat avoid skin and fat - it is always removed before cooking.

    Many Hindus are vegetarians of various degrees of purity. On the east coast they excuse fish and shellfish consumption by defining fish as fruit (fruit of the sea). On the west coast many won't eat anything that even suggests meat and go to great effort not to harm insects or even "nosee'ems".

    Brahmans, the highest Hindu cast are supposed to adhere to the "Brahman diet" (introduced to Americans by the Hari Krishna folks) which forbids any meat, onions, garlic, shallots, or mushrooms - but in Kashmir Brahmans eat meat, but not cow.

  • Buddhists are supposed to go through life "doing no harm", so they are by nature vegetarians. Their presence in China, Japan, Tibet and Southeast Asia has provided those area with a good number of excellent vegetarian recipes. Of course, in Tibet, vegetarianism is often almost impossible, and in Southeast Asia vegetarianism is the rule only for priests.

    Because members of some Buddhist sects live entirely by begging for food, there is an escape clause. Strict Buddhists may accept meat provided it was not in any way prepared for them or as a result of them - in other words, they did no harm. If you invited a strict Buddhist to dinner, you would be responsible for providing vegetarian food and no meat would be accepted. If, on the other hand, the Buddhist showed up completely unexpectedly and meat was what there was, you could offer it and it may be accepted, or may not.

    Of course in the U.S. we have traditional Buddhists of all sects plus any number of varieties of half baked "Buddhists" who follow any set of rules they fancy. If they think they're getting off the wheel of Karma that way they may have to rethink in their next life, but, hey, life's not all that bad, really.

  • Jews have a strict set of dietary guidleines, the Kosher laws (A3), which are adhered to more or less strictly depending on the sect of Judaism a person belongs to and personal viewpoint. Kosher is an anglicized form of Hebrew kasher which means "fit" or "proper".

    Pig is completely forbidden for eating, but the Jews are not pathological about pig like the Muslims are - you can sell them, use leather made from them, just not eat them.

    Edible animals must chew a cud and have a cloven hoof: cattle, antelope, buffalo, bison, deer, eland, gazelle, goat, hart, moose, ox, sheep and yak. - though certain parts (brain, major nerves, etc.) are forbidden as well as any blood at all (thus killing and salting (koshering) rules must be strictly followed.

    Forbidden are: camel, dog, dolphin, donkey, horse, pig, porpoise, rabbit and any other rodent, whale, all reptiles, frogs lizards, snakes, turtles, toads, all insects (except certain locusts (A5)) and other invertebrates, and crocodiles (though now known to not be reptiles but related to birds they still don't qualify).

    Edible birds must have a projecting claw, a crop and a gizzard the inner lining of which can be peeled away: chicken, Cornish hen, duck, dove, goose, pigeon, songbirds and turkey.

    Forbidden birds are wild birds and birds of prey: eagle, heron, ostrich, owl, pelican, stork, swan, vulture and crow.

    Edible fish must have both fins and scales that can be removed without breaking the skin: anchovy, bass, blackfish, bluefish, butterfish, carp, chub, cod, flounder, fluke, haddock, halibut, herring, mackerel, mahimahi, mullet, perch, pickerel, pike, pompano, porgy, red snapper, sablefish, salmon, sardine, shad, smelt, snapper, sole, tilefish, trout, tuna, weakfish, whitefish and whiting.

    Among forbidden fish are: catfish, eel, lamprey, marlin, rays, puffer, sailfish, shark, sturgeon, swordfish and turbot.

    Forbidden seafoods are all shellfish and mollusks, including: clam, lobster, octopus, oyster, scallop, squid, shrimp and snail (the popularity of expensive sushi bars among Jewish professionals in Los Angeles and what they eat there is strictly between them and their rabbi).

    Milk products and meat must not be mixed nor eaten at the same meal, and separate cooking utensils are required for the two.

    In general, great care must be taken to insure that no kosher food is in any way contaminated by or comes in contact with any non-kosher food or substance, or machinery and utensils that have.

    The primary purpose for all these rules was to make Jews so different from other peoples they could not mingle with them. The rules are so effective in that regard that the majority of North American Jews have come to ignore them in part or in whole.

  • Muslims follow Islamic food law which is derived from the Jewish kosher law and is very similar but particularly sticks at pig in any shape form manner or use. Acceptable foods are called Halal (lawful), unacceptable are haram (unlawful) and questionable items are mushbooh (suspected) and should not be consumed (A4).

    Alcohol and other intoxicants are strictly forbidden (though the Turks seem to have received a special dispensation on this item - either that or they're all going straight to Hell with the rest of us).

    All halal animals must be properly slaughtered and must not have been dead before slaughter. No animal that was killed in the name of anyone other than Allah is acceptable. As you might expect, halal meat is extra expensive.

  • Chinese (other than the Buddhists) are really big on pig and chicken. Beef and fish are also used, and Lamb in the Muslim regions. In the Southeast, so is everything else - they'll stop at nothing (fried scorpions, anyone? Tarantulas?). Recently, restaurants were promoting rat, because they'd already served all the snakes that had been eating the rats - so plenty of rats.

    Chinese Buddhists are expected to be strictly vegetarian. This is supposed to extend down through Vietnam, but Thailand and Cambodia adhere to Indian Buddhism which is more liberal, and most Vietnamese follow suit.

  • Korea is big on beef, fish, and moderately hot chilis. Pork is also used, and everything is served with rice and kimchee (pickled cabbage (and/or other vegetables) with red chili).
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